into 2023

Well, how to start… It’s already the second week of 2023 😀 So in this blog, I will just write down my stream of thoughts – whatever comes to my mind, I will write it down. There will be no structure, and no focus points, whatsoever 😉

Many years ago I would start a new year by writing down my plans and resolutions but I already stopped doing it three or four years ago. It was when I knew everyday is a day to plan and work for my future; I do not need to wait for a new year to do that 😛

I have just come back from a trip to Switzerland and Italy with my very best friend from Vietnam. We have been friends since we were teenagers and of course, like many other friendships, there were ups and downs. There were times of interruptions because we both had our own group of friends but in the end, we crossed paths again. I am glad we did.

So for the start of 2023, I would like to talk a bit about 2022. I don’t know how to describe it. For me, it was like this: I see myself celebrating New Year (of 2022) with beautiful fireworks blooming outside my windows, then welcoming a cat named Su to my home on Tet holidays, clumsily holding a croissant in Paris on a summer day, one morning waking up with the sounds of a coyote singing to my ears, running around the Albertina auditorium for the conference, hugging and feeling the soft mouth the dog called Matcha in London, and then now 2023. All other events such as my graduation ceremony, my last trips, and other travels were not there. It was not because these events were not important but mainly because 2022 had passed so swiftly that I could not even feel it…at all. But yes so many things happened in 2022. I will take a deep breath and try to remember them chronologically – of course, I will not tell everything as it would take me the whole night to write them down hahaha. I will simply categorize them into topics.

Learning. Congratulations! 2022 marks the year that I graduated from my Master program. What makes me feel so proud is that I adapted to the international environment pretty well. There was not a single moment during the program when I felt alone or inferior. Being with people from different continents helps me a lot in becoming more cautious when dealing with diversity and understanding what diversity means – till today I am still learning. Being with people who have different backgrounds, opinions and ideals helps me understand better why the world is functioning the way it is. Diversity and differentiation help me explain why sometimes a nod of assent or a “yes” can be so difficult to make but it can be so easy if we are open enough. Despite all the complaints I made, I still think the Master I took is valuable in so many ways, especially when I talked to people who have never had a chance to immerse themselves in such an international environment. In the end, acquiring knowledge is a lifetime process and we can always do it with the help of many tools outside our school. The people we meet during our study MATTER more than anything. We might not remember the complicated equations in economics or statistics two years later (or maybe right after graduation, we already forgot them :D) but we will always remember that Silvia, that Lini or that Marcela who cooked the very good Gallo Pinto, Gado Gado, or the one and only shrimp pasta that we love so much right?

Change. As I travel with different friends, I realized change is inevitable. Someone you think you know can be a stranger to you at some point during the trip. Traveling is magical, it makes new faces become familiar as you make friends along the way and familiar faces become new again as you explore other characteristics of your friends that you never knew before. I am happy that all my friends decided to continue the friendships after traveling with me 😛 And I realized… yes, I also changed a lot.

Cry. I cried a lot in 2022. I remember one day in August I cried in the bathroom for almost one hour straight. I had a job at school organizing the summer university and for the first time in my life, I worked completely in german. I really really learned a lot but it was stressful, not because of the tasks but because of the pressure I put on myself that I must do this perfectly. But the job was not the only reason, other factors included, I tried to hold them all inside so much until that Saturday morning, I exploded. I ran to the bathroom, sat in a corner, and cried and cried. It’s completely OK to cry. If you want to cry, cry then stand up and continue fighting. That’s what I did.

Pride. People like my mentor constantly remind me that I should be proud of myself. I did not usually celebrate my achievements because I thought there was no achievement. Everything I accomplished is simply what I must do. But lately, I have learned to celebrate small things. Still, I am learning how to be proud of myself, step by step. My childhood plays a role in developing this kind of mindset. Getting an A or A+ was my duty and as it was my duty, there was nothing to be proud of. My grandparents loved me so much, more than anything in the world but they almost never praised me. I know why. They always wanted me to try for the better and they were afraid of me forgetting to strive for excellence if they showed their contentedness to me. So it might be strange but yes, pride is a feeling that does not always come naturally. For those who are reading this blog, you should be proud of yourself also.

Honesty. Being honest gives me a very good sleep. And as I get older, a night of good sleep is everything hahaha. During the year, there were moments of sadness, of uncertainty, of disappointment, of feeling betrayed but never a moment of emptiness. I think because I have learned to be honest. And being honest here means being honest with my own feelings, and with the answers that I gave people and myself. You might ask how it can be possible to be always honest; for example, when someone you love cooks something for you and you do not think it’s good, how can you be honest about it? Then I have a tip for you – I have applied it and it works. Emotions deal with emotions and rationality should deal with rationality. In that case, you do not think the dish is good but what do you feel about your friend cooking for you? Express that feeling instead. Instead of praising the dish, you can say you really appreciate the invitation and feel so lucky and happy to have the chance to be there spending time with your friend and seeing her / him cooking for you. Then you do not have to tell a single lie, even a white lie. As your friend cooks for you, he / she might be still very excited and of course looking for something positive from you, any analysis of “a bit less salty” or “the chicken is just a little dry” is nothing constructive but disappointment. Misunderstanding can happen. You can wait for the feelings to go away and when you meet your friend again, maybe a week later, you can sit down and say “do you remember the chicken you made last time for me….” then you can analyze and discuss slowly the “rational” side of how it could be done better. At work, I have to give a lot of comments on designs and this tip works just GREAT.

Below are some of the photos that I love the most in 2022…

Photos of my travels will be posted in another blog as I have not had the time to organize them yet – thousands of them…🤪

To end the blog, I have the same question as always… I do not know what I would feel when I read this blog again one year later; who I will become; where I will be and with whom I will be,… many many questions. Let’s hope for the best and just continue being kind and curious. See you again in another blog 😉